Can't help it... I just am.

Maybe I am bound and determined to go to hell...

Though honestly ass-kissing is a more appropriate reason to rot in flames, I think.

Okay, enough about the fanbrat...

I start my sophomore year at CBU on Tuesday. Gonna hate adjusting back to it all. I despise class, I really do. So burnt out on it. But that's okay, two days a week this semester. I think I can deal with that.

And I have to come up with $130 by next Thursday... *cries* I don't know if I can do it. Hopefully I'll get a fair bit of that selling some books back to the CBU bookstore (another group of people that are ignorant...).

And my DDR pad malfunctioned... grr.

But, for the most part, I'm in a better mood these days. Even if I'm in a bad mood, usually it's just a mood swing that'll go away within an hour or two... I think I'm bipolar... Hyper me can't be slowed down. Depressed me beats on walls and cracks it... whoops? But it never lasts long, and for the most part, I'm happy and content with my share.

Oh yes... just felt like talking a little... no one's around to talk right now. Just my dad playing Rock Band. *laughs* It's nice. I can sing my little heart out.

~ Sassy

It was in the garage.

On the floor.

Chewed up.

Dirty.

Under a pile of trash.

With spiders all over it.

My mother sneered when I picked it up and took it inside.

I'm so upset I can't even cry.

I'm so angry I can't even move.

I thought they knew that she meant more to me than trash on the ground.

I've noticed something recently: people seem to lie a lot about themselves.

In a way that has sparked some very interesting thoughts in my mind. Take... me, for example, and one of my statements about myself.

"I don't like soda."

It's true that I don't drink soda at restaurants. I won't order soda from McDonalds with my grilled chicken club (no mayo). I tend to avoid it at home.

But I will drink it in some instances, and it won't be bad. It's not that I don't like soda. I just don't prefer it.

So why say that I don't like soda?

I've also noticed that some people lie to hype up a stereotype or set image of themselves they want people to have of them.

"I don't like sweets."

Said by a slender beauty queen to the general public. But her friends may know the truth. She likes candy and chocolate. She just doesn't want to like them. So she tells people she doesn't like them to make it real for herself.

"I'm self-conscious and my self-esteem suffers." Said right before the statement of "I'm totally awesomer than you and my makeup always looks awesome."

See my point?

"I don't talk with my mouth full." Said with a mouthful of hamburger.

"I don't ever yell at you!!" Yelled from 3 feet away.

"I'm always open to new ideas, but..." Said overriding one of your opinions.

"I do not talk to you condescendingly." Said like a mother would say to her two-year-old child.

Why do we lie? To make ourselves feel better about ourselves? To increase sympathy? To gain respect or admiration? To impress? To cover our own ass?

I'm tired of the lies. Feel better about yourself some other way. You're not getting any sympathy. No one will respect or admire you. You're not impressing anyone. Stop covering and start fixing.

Humanity tends to be pathetic.

That's exactly what you're all doing to me.